PARALLAX, Session 20: Home Scene

Playing the scene

The Price of Secrets

I remove the cork from the bottle of Talisker 10-Year and sniff deeply. This is exactly what whatever the gods drink must smell like. I grab two rocks glasses and join Jo on the sofa. She’s already halfway through her first taco. I don’t even want to know what’s in there.

Jo: “Ah, the good stuff!”

Lawrence: “A promise is a promise.”

Jo: “I still think you got away too easily.”

I choose Jo as a bond for the home scene, since she was directly involved and I feel is the one whose bond risks to be deteriorated the most.
Sanity check
(D100): (19) => success
Lawrence regains (1D6): (3) sanity
Jo’s bond reduced by (1D4): (3)

She jokes about it, but I can feel that she’s hurt. I lied to her, and she knows it, but she trusts me too much to force the truth out of me. And that hurts even more—the both of us.

Dealing with Sally when I got home wasn’t any easier either. She was furious, more than I had ever seen her before. And rightly so. During the mission, I completely forgot to call or text her. I had never done anything like that before. Any other woman would have worried about an affair, but Sally knew that wasn’t the case. I had to invent a complete load of bullshit about a sudden homicide investigation where I was pulled in by the FBI. She believed it, but it didn’t make her any less angry. I felt like total shit lying to her like that.

I’m starting to wonder if I made the right decision joining the Program.

And then there’s Jo. I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to repair the damage. One thing is certain: I will never forget seeing her at the hospital, breaking down after witnessing just a hint of what the universe really is. There is no way I can tell her the truth. I don’t believe she could handle it.

Not that I’ve shown a great ability to handle it myself. Just the opposite, if anything. I keep thinking about Phalanx. The sense of guilt will never go away, I’m well aware of that. I don’t even know his real name. Maybe I could… I don’t know… try to find out? Discover if he had a family? But that might just make the remorse worse. I have to stop thinking like that.

Jo: “Earth to Law. Where has your mind gone? Don’t be a cheap-ass, pour the drinks. If you think there’s going to be anything left in that bottle by the end of the night, think again.”

A piece of some nondescript, barely edible food falls onto the cushion while she talks with her mouth full.

Lawrence: “Jesus, Jo! Sally will kill me. Clean that shit off my sofa.”

Jo: “That shit? How dare you! Here, have some!”

She tries to force a piece of the taco into my mouth.

Lawrence: “Just put a knife through my heart if you want me dead. It’ll be quicker.”

She suddenly gets serious, lowering the food.

Jo: “I’m worried, Law. For you. I feel like you’ve gotten yourself into something way bigger than you.”

If only she knew how right she was.

Lawrence: “I have, Jo. There’s no doubt about that. But trust me on this: there are things that must be done to keep everyone safe. Terrible things. Someone has to do them.”

Jo: “Jesus. You sound like some Republican senator right after 9/11. But something tells me you’re not talking about terrorists.”

I don’t answer. Instead, I take a long sip of the Talisker. It burns my throat and numbs my mind. Just what I needed.

We don’t talk any more about it, and we simply enjoy the rest of our evening together.